I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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