My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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