the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
