Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Life is so much better after having sex.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
