The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
