I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize