we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
