I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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