Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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