I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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