I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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