yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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