You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
