i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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