It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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