This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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