I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
