nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
