hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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