all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
