You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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