so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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