yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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