Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
