Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
