Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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