I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
