Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
