Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I FOUND THE LEGS
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
