Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
