There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
