New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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