Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
