Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sorry about my life...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
