And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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