You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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