dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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