Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize