remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
