If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just invented taco cereal.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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