so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
