Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
