i don't like sucking hair
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize