I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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