i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
