Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
