you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
