1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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