maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
