still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
