I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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