I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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