you guys were way drunker than both of me
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
