dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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