I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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