I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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