we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
