honey bunches of taint.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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