spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
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